{"id":155,"date":"2021-08-25T14:52:16","date_gmt":"2021-08-25T14:52:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lipstickliesandlupus.com\/main\/?p=155"},"modified":"2021-08-25T14:56:42","modified_gmt":"2021-08-25T14:56:42","slug":"dangerous-self-talk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lipstickliesandlupus.com\/main\/?p=155","title":{"rendered":"Dangerous Self-Talk"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"
Our minds during thought.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Recently, when I thought I was doing nothing important, I heard my mind whispering, when I was younger I could<\/em> and before I started working full time I did, <\/em>and even before I was diagnosed<\/em> I used to.<\/em> I think these things and wonder if I did it then, why can\u2019t I do it now?<\/p>\n

The depression gets worse. It doesn\u2019t take much for the depression to worsen, but I\u2019m beginning to wonder if what I think exacerbates the depression, or if the depression directs my self-talk?<\/p>\n

Either way, instead of trying, because I have told myself I can\u2019t, I do nothing. Today I realized these thoughts are limiting me. My thoughts of the past are limiting my future.<\/p>\n

To me, it sounds much like if I can\u2019t be the best, then I\u2019m not going to try.<\/em> Or alternately, If I can\u2019t win, I don\u2019t want to play.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve always thought I could do anything I want to do and often did, sometimes successful, sometimes not. But I tried and enjoyed the journey.<\/p>\n

So why is it that my self-talk now seems defeatist?<\/p>\n

I believe I\u2019m an intelligent person who can discern fact from fiction \u2013 most of the time. If I can\u2019t I know how to google things and which sites are accurate and which ones spew untruths. I\u2019ve been at this a long time.<\/p>\n

If anyone else spoke to me the way I speak to myself, I\u2019d run them off for being negative. Then I\u2019d do exactly what they said I couldn\u2019t do full of my I\u2019ll show you <\/em>attitude.<\/p>\n

So again, I ask, why do I listen to myself?<\/p>\n

Dr. Asa Don Brown says, \u201cSelf-talk reflects your innermost feelings.\u201d Does this mean I\u2019m not an optimist? Does this mean I don\u2019t believe in myself anymore?<\/p>\n

Can I be untrained or perhaps retrained?<\/p>\n

Anne Lamott, in her book Bird by Bird<\/u><\/em> says, \u201cLearn to be more compassionate company, as if you were somebody you are fond of and wish to encourage.\u00a0\u201c<\/p>\n

And yet the thoughts persist, or should I say I still talk to myself.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t expect me to accomplish miracles, but would cleaning the floor be too much to ask? Or putting order to some rooms in my house.<\/p>\n

The problem is, I know that shortly after beginning, the pain will move into my back, and I will stop. I won\u2019t be able to work through the pain, so instead of doing a little each day, I just don\u2019t bother with the things easy to let go \u2013 for now.<\/p>\n

I know I will eventually complete each task. But it will take a lot of self-talk to kill the voices that begin with I used to be able to<\/em> and replace them with you can.<\/em> I know I can find new ways of doing old things.<\/p>\n

I still need to learn what the necessities are that need to be done today, and what I can do a little at a time.<\/p>\n

Then I need to slap my self-talking mind and tell it to behave.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a9 2021 Wanda M. Argersinger<\/p>\n

All Rights Reserved<\/p>\n

From How An Optimist Deals With Depression <\/em>(a work in progress)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Recently, when I thought I was doing nothing important, I heard my mind whispering, when I was younger I could and before I started working full time I did, and even before I was diagnosed I used to. I think these things and wonder if I did it then, why can\u2019t I do it now?… Read More Dangerous Self-Talk<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":156,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nDangerous Self-Talk - Lipstick, Lies, and Lupus<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are the word we say to ourselves damaging to our very being? 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